Radical acceptance and the bedrock of gratitude

I believe in using my life as a class. If my life was a discography, the events and lessons are the songs.

The years and eras are the albums. The moments, a melody. Each contributing member answers what works, what doesn’t work, and what works some of the time.

Each has a feeling and information. Some songs or even entire eras beg the question, “Who am I?”

My life has and continues to be a class for me when I’m able to notice it.

Last week I went for a “pre-travel” COVID test. I had long awaited plans to see my sister, brother in law and niece. My three favorite people on the planet.

I had done all of the quarantining and gotten groceries delivered. My car was checked and I was ready to go. I just needed that negative test and then I’d be on my merry way for a safe and legal visit for the holiday

 So I waited, eyes peering out over my mask and happy to be checking off my final box. Check off the box, then hit the road!

The COVID test - negative. Amazing!

The routine strep test - positive. Wait, what? I didn’t even go anywhere!

I had strep throat and in the days that followed, I began to feel quite unwell. I was exhausted, I lost my voice, it hurt to speak, all my body wanted was soup and sleep.

The “planning” and “fixing” voices in my head were very busy. “How did you get sick?”, “Can you delay a day or two ?”, “How can I get better as fast as possible?”, “You can make this happen, just find a way”.

These voices had a lot to say.

As the week went on, I remained sick. The COVID cases skyrocketed. New travel restrictions were placed where I live and where I was headed. All signs, including my gut, were pointing toward don’t go.

I knew I wasn’t going to go. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to see my people when I was healthy. I didn’t want to travel during the big spike. I didn’t want to spread or get the virus.

And yet, I still felt myself wanting to force it. Wanting to force it because I had really been looking forward to the trip. Wanting to force it for a sense of normalcy and connection. Wanting to force it because it’s been almost a year since I’ve seen my sister, brother in law and niece.

I kept internally arguing and denying what I already knew because I didn’t want to know it.

And then I remembered, radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance is the sweet release I feel when I stop arguing with reality.

It’s deeply acknowledging the present moment and situation, surrendering the illusion of control and relaxing into what is. Even if it’s painful.

From this state of acceptance and truth, I can respond and move forward intentionally. 

So I radically accepted, I talked to my sister and I let it go.

I commonly say to my students or clients, the only difference between you and I is practice. I’ve simply had more practice. It’s not that things don’t arise for me, I just have more practice in moving through them.

It’s not that I was born being able to play all of my scales, I just have had more practice.

It’s not that I don’t have nerves for performances, I just have more practice in harnessing them for good.

It’s not that difficult moments don’t arise as I teach lessons, I just have more practice holding an empowered environment.

And in this case, it’s not that I don’t have crazy thoughts, I just have more practice in choosing which ones I believe.

Radical acceptance shows up in every single part of my life. In my relationships, in my music making, in my teaching, when I coach mindfulness, in yoga and yes, even navigating holiday plans.

I knew this idea, but didn’t know this term, radical acceptance, until a couple years ago when a long-time student of mine gifted me the book in the photo above - Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.

She had it sitting on the piano for me when I arrived and it was one of countless examples of how my students teach me just as much, if not more, than I teach them.

In the book, Tara describes this process of radical acceptance and sustaining self-love throughout. Basically, the values I hold in Mindful Music deeply expressed, expanded, described and packaged in a beautiful book that seemed like it was written for me.

This book practically leapt off the shelf at me the past week as I navigating my acceptance. Also in the past week, I learned a new way of accessing this practice by way of Raphael Cushnir and his book Unconditional Bliss. He has a process called “living the questions”.

The questions are this: “What is happening right now?” and “Can I be with it?”.

It’s radical acceptance in a different outfit.

This year has been and continues to be a season of radical acceptance. I’ve also experienced this year as the year of great unlearning. There is so much that I have radically accepted, chosen to unlearn and continue to unlearn.

The collective is in this process. Some people are radically accepting, others cling, force and argue. Most of us continue to navigate both.

This week is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. To be quite honest, I don’t know if I’m fully on board. I’m seeking consciousness around what I celebrate and why. The history of the holiday represents a lot that I don’t love or believe in.

What I am fully on board with is gratitude. And not just this week, every week. Not just on Thursday, every day.

When I live my life from the bedrock of gratitude, amazing things happen.

“What will they think” becomes “I get to play music and share love with the world.”

“I have strep throat” becomes “I’m grateful for this medicine and my resilient body.”

“This sucks” becomes “Thank you for the lesson.”.

“I’m sick of being at home” becomes “I am grateful for the time to slow down and be”.

It’s pure magic. Life becomes pure magic and in the land of pure magic is where I love to be!

How does radical acceptance show up in your life?

If you knew you didn’t need to argue with reality, what would you let go of?

What would it be like to apply gratitude to a sticky situation or challenge? Or even an ordinary moment?

What can you say thank you for in this very moment?

I say thank you to my warm socks, my peach tea, the snowflakes outside my window and to every single soul who reads this! Thank you for being an important part of the Mindful Music family!

Radical acceptance and the bedrock of gratitude are windows into what I embody in my life’s work through mindful piano lessons and coaching.

Mindful Piano Lessons 

I officially have only 5 spaces available for mindful piano lessons in 2021 and have several people interested. If you or your kids want to make music with me and gain holistic skills for their life at the same time, reach out to me through Instagram (@mindfulmusicworld) or my contact page. The time is now!

Coaching for Musician Teachers

And, if you’d like to learn how radical acceptance could change your life as a musician and teacher, book a free call with me here and join my private free Facebook group, The Mindful Music Movement, a community for conscious leadership and change.

Radical acceptance and the bedrock of gratitude are available to you every day, in every way.

Inhale: Thank you.

Exhale: Let it go.

It’s pure magic.  

In gratitude, presence and pursuit of a better world,

⭐️ Adrienne