I'm not lucky
“You’re so lucky.” A sentence that shows up time and time again. A sentence that perplexes me. A sentence I’m not fully on board with. Perhaps maybe not even at all.
It’s almost like when people say “You’re so talented”. I feel my brows furrow and my head tilt to the side. Huh?
In my head I have flashes of thousands of hours of practicing, deliberately putting myself out of my comfort zone over and over, two degrees, hundreds of auditions, driving to other states to play for 30 seconds, rejection upon rejection and eventually a few big yeses.
I am not talented. I made that, I created that, I chipped away for decades at that. My aptitude or knack for music would have sat vacant and unsung at my parents’ house if I hadn’t shown up to build it.
I am not talented, I am devoted. My results are a by-product of devotion.
So when I hear the sentence, You’re so lucky, I similarly do a double take. Huh?
As a white womxn born in the US with access to education from a young age, there is a part of me that wants to check myself before I wreck myself. Adrienne….you really are lucky. In many real ways that could be deemed the case.
At the same time, many of my mentors are BIPOC, not born in the US, did not have early access to education and are womxn. They are impactful, soulful, change-making, wealthy and were not born with the “luck” I was. These people have created their visions faster than me and with less initial resources. How did that happen without “luck”?
I know heaps of US born, white men who had access to anything and everything that have done nothing with it. Some would call them lucky - however their lives appear far from it. Their relationships, money, impact and fulfillment is empty. Where does luck fit in here?
This argument for luck has some holes.
No matter how much “luck” someone is dealt, no matter what cards you begin with in your hand, if you stay home nothing happens. You’ve got to show up and play the game.
What I’ve come to know is that luck is not something I have or don’t have. I’m not lucky or unlucky. Luck is something I create.
It’s I made that, I chose that, I created that. It’s an environment, an ecosystem and way of existing and being that invites opportunities, synchronicities and love to rush into my life.
It’s devotion. It’s showing up, stepping out and as I paint on the beautiful canvas of my life, the world rises to meet me there.
My belief system and embodiment of luck can be framed through three heavy hitting quotes that have stood the test of time in my life. Each is a gift from an impactful teacher and philosopher.
"We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training."
Archilochus
A skill I honed in the music world that I’ve been able to copy and paste to all parts of my life is training. Training allows me to create habits, results and options in my life that are second nature.
Like an audition when my body goes into fight or flight, I train so these tools show up when I call them. They are “burned in”, they are a well-worn path, and no it’s not a path out of “luck”. I consciously chose to make the rut and consciously chose to put myself in situations to use it.
At the end of the day, I’m a human! (Thank goodness) When the chips are down, it’s not my expectations that will appear in my perfectly imperfect state. It’s the level of my training. What I have practiced will show up for me, like a beautiful Phoenix rising from the ashes.
You’re so lucky you can perform on stage. No, that’s my training.
You’re so lucky you can stay present and positive. No, that’s my training.
You’re so lucky you can do a headstand. No, that’s my training.
Years of devotion to creating amazing habits and skills from the outside can appear like luck. Rather, my devotion and cultivation of these skills in my ecosystem opens the doors for opportunities and good fortune to appear.
When the tools I love are something I have on demand, the gates open. I can access and say yes to the gifts from the world.
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
Seneca
My mom once emailed me this Seneca quote the night before a major audition. It just so happened to be an audition that I won. That audition was an example of Luck as a byproduct of preparation meeting opportunity.
With amazing tools of mindfulness, mastery, and self-love alive and well in my life, luck happens when I get an opportunity to express and use them. In the example of the audition, I spent three months preparing for it. My training was at its peak, flow state was a friend I could call on at any time. There was no stone unturned, there was no doubt in my mind in my ability to play well because of my preparation.
When the moment of opportunity appeared, I was able to soar. It was the intersection of my part (preparation) and the universe’s part (opportunity) that allowed for the luck to be created.
You’re so lucky that you won the audition. No, I prepared for it.
You’re so lucky that you have your own business. No, I prepared for it.
You’re so lucky that you have a coach. No, I prepared for it.
Through preparation, I am able to hop through the portals of opportunity as they arise! When I’m prepared, I can say yes and receive yes.
"What are you unwilling to feel?"
Tara Brach
One of the most clarifying and poignant questions to ever cross my path is this one from meditation teacher and author, Tara Brach. It applies to every part of life, including luck.
What are you unwilling to feel?
A lot of luck creation is the result of a willingness to feel the full spectrum of human emotion. Skill building and training requires discomfort. Preparation means choosing long term over short term. Mindfulness means fully seeing, acknowledging and experiencing my pain, emotions and then consciously live from that place.
Luck in my life is very much linked to my willingness to feel. If I am unwilling to feel discomfort, uncertainty, pain or vulnerability - luck is not possible. I’ve closed the doors.
You’re so lucky you have that relationship. No, I am willing to feel.
You’re so lucky you can speak in public. No, I am willing to feel.
You’re so lucky you can monetize your purpose. No, I am willing to feel.
An essential part of luck is my willingness to feel. Anytime I am blocked, anytime I am not co-creating luck with the universe, this Tara Brach question reveals a door or two that I have closed.
When I am willing to feel all of the human experience, my ecosystem of devotion and luck is open, alive and ready to receive.
What do these quotes and my belief have in common that is missing from most people’s perception of luck?
Choice and responsibility.
The idea of luck can be used as a convenient escape hatch. The word and concept is based on chance. It deletes agency, denies power and places all outcomes and circumstances outside the individual.
It’s a dismissal of responsibility, a permanent seat in the victim chair and a farewell to being the hero of your own life.
This is flawed and incomplete. However flawed and incomplete this may be, I can see why this is such an attractive vantage point.
If some people are lucky and others aren’t, well, I can check out of my life guilt-free. I don’t need to face head on the challenges that come with goals, dreams and skill building. If It’s outside my control, I’m not responsible for my success or my shortcomings.
However, this is simply not true. Regardless of any circumstances that may swirl (Hello pandemic!), how I show up in my life is always in my sphere of control.
Experiencing luck as something I create and call into my life through training, preparation and willingness to feel, I am called into my power and sacred responsibility.
I am responsible for creating an amazing ecosystem for luck to want to live in. It’s my job to cultivate a place where luck with appear over and over. I always have a choice and therein lies my responsibility. For both my luck and my un-luck!
When someone tells me I’m lucky for any variety of reasons, my answer is no. I am not lucky.
I made that, I chose that, I created that.
Not differently in any way, if deemed unlucky, my answer again is no. I am not unlucky.
I made that, I chose that, I created that.
Don’t be fooled, I create every ounce of my un-luck too! Un-luck is a mirror of growth. It’s always an opportunity to circle back, revisit, re-feel and move forward to creating the environment for all the luck and love I desire to rush into my life with abandon.
I’m not lucky. You’re not lucky. No one is lucky!
I’m a luck creator. And if I can create luck, so can you.
What luck is possible because of your training? Or not possible?
What opportunities are you cultivating because of your preparation?
What are you unwilling to feel? Are you closing doors that you actually want open?
I made that, I chose that, I created that.
What environment, ecosystem and ways of existing are creating your luck these days?
Luck creation is part of life design and conscious creation. This is not we’re taught in school or our culture. It’s an important part of mindful empowerment and integral part of my group coaching program, Divine Design.
If you’re interested in creating and receiving luck in your life in 2021, Divine Design was made for you! Check out the details here and reply to this email if you have questions. We begin on 3/1 and those who enroll by 2/22 (Monday) receive a bonus 1:1 coaching session!
Show up, step out, and fill your piece of the puzzle with your devotion.
Train, prepare, feel.
Luck will rise to meet you.
See you in the luck zone,
⭐️ Adrienne
P.S. Know someone who wants to be in the luck zone too? Send them this postl and lets vibrate higher together!
